How I'm Making Hard Times Feel Better

Let me start by saying–this isn’t my typical type of blog post. It’s very personal and not very concise and I’m sure the grammar isn’t great. I wrote this out as a way to process and thought I would share it just in case it is helpful for anyone else to read. I know it’s always helpful for me to read other people perspectives during similar challenges, so I hope I can provide a sense of solidarity to a few of you if possible.

As I mentioned on my Instagram post- I’m not at all sharing this for pity. I know that unfortuantley there are far worse things going on in the world and in people’s lives. I know, and am grateful, that it isn’t worse. But I do think any challenges that can’t be “fixed”, are hard; my hope is just to share with you a little more about what is going on behind the scenes and how I’m shifting my mindset to make the hard feel a little “better”.

Current Challenge #1: Moving

Again this is something I hate to “complain” about- because I know in this day and age, we are SO lucky to be able to have purchased a house at all! It’s tough out there and I feel for anyone trying to buy right now.

Since graduating college in 2013, I’ve moved seven times and this last move was by far the most chaotic. We had about a two month window that we were hoping to purchase a house this summer and we ended up shockingly getting our first offer accepted, the first weekend! So a blessing, but the whole thing ended up happening much quicker than we expected, including a quick closing, etc. Long story short, everything ended up getting shoved in boxes and it was/is all SO UNORGANIZED. Every box is a mismatch of random stuff and it’s making moving in a million times harder, especially with three young “helpers” 🙂

Also, due to the competitive nature of the market at the time we purchased, I wasn’t able to research the area we were moving to as well as I would’ve liked. Again, it’s not a BAD area by any means– but it’s a little different than I expected/hoped it would be.

Then there are the logistics of moving to a new state with a family, feeling settled and finding our people. It’s hard to make friends as an adult and I find it harder the more kids we have. Something that no one talks about is how divisive everyone is this days (which I hate that it’s like that so much!) but even scrolling the Peanut app– people’s profiles are filled with political beliefs and even “hate” for the other “side” and it just adds another layer into the difficulty of making friends. Being lonely has made all of this other stuff feel even harder- I’m just really missing a sense of community.

My plan to make it better: The first thing I did here was to make a House to Haven notebook for this home. Having a plan to make this house feel like our home has already helped a lot, and I know it will only get better as time goes on and more progress is made. I also plan on making lists of all the fun things and opportunities that we have available to us here. There really is SO much to do here (especially moving from Montana) and I want to take advantage of it all! Along with this, I’m also working on creating my own village- reminding myself that villages don’t just build themselves. Finally, remembering that this takes time. Each time I’ve moved to a new state, I found that it takes ~2 years to feel like it is home- we haven’t even been here a year. It will happen in time.

Current Challenge #2: Dentist

I’ve shared about this before- but pregnancy just does a NUMBER on my teeth. After each baby I’ve had multiple cavities and/or root canals and/or crowns. This is despite every dentist saying my home care “couldn’t be better”– it’s so, so frustrating. When we moved here, I obviously had to go to a new dentist and my treatment plan was just horrifying. I ended up getting a second opinion and even though it was slightly less aggressive, it’s still a lot. I already have terrible dental anxiety and I’ve been losing so much sleep about it. Not to mention it is expensive (even with insurance) and I hate feeling like my teeth are a financial burden.